Formerly known as a piece of underwear

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,
Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,
Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

When through the woods, and forest glades I wander,
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees.
When I look down, from lofty mountain grandeur
And see the brook, and feel the gentle breeze.

Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art!

… didn’t work!! To be able to do it, you need time and the ability to sit still, be focussed and empty your mind of crap. Sadly it would appear I am unable to do this! I think it’s something that I might like if I were on retreat or something, but in normal every day life, it just isn’t going to happen!!

It’s interesting also how much of the ‘pictures’ I was seeing in my mind from the passage I was reading (the one where they lower the paralysed man through the roof) were very ‘traditional’ images of Jesus and the setting. Presumably through too many ‘bible story books’ when I was younger! It’s very difficult to picture anything else when you’re trying to see a culture / time which is so different and which you know very little about (apart from the ‘traditional’ pictures in story books!).

It’s definitely something I’d like to try again one day, but one day when I have something of a brain to focus with and the time to empty my mind (which I reckon would take at least a couple of days!!!!).

At what point does something that is immoral become something that is illegal?

Does it matter if one person’s moral code is different to another, and what is acceptable to one is not acceptable to another? If this were to happen, where does the law stand?

Has society lost its moral code through the ‘loss’ of the church’s influence? Has our society actually got any sort of consistent moral code or has it been blurred through both changes and ‘advances’ in living styles, and the influx of different cultures and their associated values? Should it have been affected in this way or if it is our country’s moral code, should those coming in to it be made to follow it?

… something about ‘why pray’ (as in me asking why bother!). but in a slightly more long winded way. It’s probably no bad thing it got deleted really!

I’ve half read todays bit of The Book which is about praying the ‘Ingatian way’. I’ve only half read it cos I’m going to actually ‘do it’ later!!

……………………………………………………………………ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG…………………………. I wrote a long post and it got bloody deleted………….. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

I appear to be failing at both prayer and the book.

Or is it just that people feel safer ‘outing’ themselves online?

It just seems that I seem to ‘know’ a lot of people online who suffer from depression. Is this just because of the websites / forums I frequent, or is it that, probably like me, it’s easier to ‘admit’ to such a thing online? I’m currently not wanting to tell work colleagues cos I don’t want to be treated differently, but online I’m happy to ’share’ such things. And will share with far more ‘detail’ than I ever do, well, with almost anyone IRL!

‘How to pray for other people’ and ‘How to end the day with God’ is where I’m at in The Book. Because there seemed to be so much to take in from what I was reading, I’d intentionally slowed down. Also cos I’ve had rather a grot couple of days on the depression front, I’ve really been struggling with prayer anyway. I’ve felt so detatched and distant from anything resembling a God, and found it even more difficult than usual to focus so I’ve not done very well with it!

The praying for others idea seems a good one (well d’uh, course it is), but I always find it difficult to know ‘who’ to pray for cos the list seems endless. The Book has various suggestions including putting names on post its, only a few at a time, and putting them in a special place, or burning them as you offer the person in prayer. Or putting names on post its / small pieces of paper and putting them in a bowl and taking out a few names each evening and praying for them. Obviously, you also have then the question of whether to pray for individuals generally, or for specific things. So much to consider!!

‘How to end the day with God’ talks about ‘reviewing’ and ‘reflecting’ on your day – its highs and lows, and thinking about emotions. Again, something I sometimes find difficult because that would involve remembering what you’d done throughout the day!

One of the reasons I particularly like this book is because just as I’m thinking something, it says it!!

So we’ve reached the end of the day and the last five sections of this book have been suggesting all sorts of ways of praying ‘day by day’. But maybe you’re feeling this is all a bit too much like hard work, or a bit too much like travelling in anlien territory. You only wanted to think a bit more about spirituality, and you’ve ended up with loads of methods and techniques of praying.

Yep, that’s pretty much what I thought!! It does then say that there are no rules to prayer, so not to worry. And that God wants us to prayer wherever, however and whenever we can. I think I just need to remember that. Those times when on my motorbike when I’m so wanting to pray, but just can’t focus on it or the words just aren’t there, God knows that the intention is there, and I guess that must count for something.

What a shite day! It started badly as I was woken by a small person, and was very tired cos I’d been wide awake in the night. Consequently I didn’t remember to read any prayers or canticles as I’d planned from the Book of Common Prayer that I’d left by my bed especially last night (just to do something a little different from The Book). I tried the singing Taize or repeated prayers on the motorbike on the way to school, but that wasn’t happening either. I was feeling really aggitated and it almost felt like I had ants running all inside me as I couldn’t focus on one thing and my brain / mind was constantly flitting everywhere. Part of this was to do with the fact that we had a Local Authority inspector in at school, one we had before Christmas who slated everything the school, and particularly I, do.

(I just wrote a long whinge about the inspector and the day, but then deleted it cos you really don’t want to know!!)

Anyway, the day is nearly over. I will look at the BCP before bed, even if that time always seems rather pointless to me because the day is nearly over! I’m just hoping tomorrow will be better!!

ETA – oopsy, just seen / remembered yesterdays post!

Lame excuse… but I’m too tired to write a long post!

I said before I struggle with the ’special time’ rather than ‘on the go’ prayer. I tried bible reading notes, but got bored. I ended up doing them more as habit than anything meaningful. I’m not far enough along with where I am emotionally to be able to do that anyway. All too much in one go.

Sorry, crap post today!